Edwin & Standards

[fairandfatalasfair]

I don’t think Edwin particularly likes his own cold, self-interested analysis or his quick temper or his venomous tongue. I think he’s accepted them as faults that he probably won’t be able to change, but I don’t think he’s proud of them.

He tells the Cat King that he’s ashamed of wanting to make a case for his innocence, to protect himself in the process of helping others, as though that would undo the good he does. He immediately calls himself out on his own vindictiveness when Despair tells him he was about to gloat over Simon’s suffering.

I don’t think he’s particularly beating himself up for those things, but I do think he thinks of himself as selfish, and possibly cruel, and Charles as the opposite of those things.

Charles is the one who helps Edwin, and their clients, out of the goodness of his heart with no hope of reward. Charles is the one who had the option of heaven and chose Edwin instead. Charles is the one who never has a harsh word to say about anyone. When he says Charles is the best person he knows I think that’s part of what he means: that he sees in Charles all the virtues, the kindness and selflessness, that he thinks he lacks.

(Charles, meanwhile, loves Edwin’s bitchy side, and I think attached himself to Edwin at least in part because the kindness Edwin showed him in his last hours epitomises the good guy he desperately wants to be. But I don’t know if Edwin fully believes that.)

I dunno I just think there’s something fascinating in that - in Edwin’s ruthlessness in holding himself to these impossible standards, and his view of Charles as someone who meets them.